How coaching techniques like the Wheel of Life helped me understand my resentment and build a manageable action plan

Not feeling myself

Last Tuesday I woke up feeling really unlike myself. Usually, I wake up feeling pretty positive if a bit tired, like a lot of us I would imagine.  I really didn’t like feeling this way and am usually quite a proactive person so I wanted to tackle this feeling so I would feel more like me again. As a coach I thought I would try some coaching techniques and see what happened.  

Step 1: Naming my feelings – keeping a diary of feelings

I started keeping a diary of things that had drained me over the week and things that had made me feel energised. I realised that I was feeling a bit resentful. It was really helpful to name this as I could begin to tackle it.  I know myself pretty well and I recognise that I am a bit of people pleaser and need to put in stronger boundaries to support my self-care. 

Step 2: Using the Wheel of Life to find out why I was feeling resentful

I am quite a visual person so next I mapped out the areas of my life using the Wheel of Life tool. This tool can be really helpful for identifying and balancing different areas of your life. You have to list out the areas and then rank how satisfied you are with each area.  I thought that I had been doing too much recently and hadn’t done enough for me, and this was confirmed by the Wheel of life exercise.

Step 3: Self-indulgent or drained?

This might sound a bit self-indulgent but I realise the lack of me time was making me feel frustrated. When I reflected on why I felt self-indulgent I realised it was because I was constantly prioritising others over myself. When I reflected on it I realised it wasn’t self-indulgent to look after myself, and without this I wouldn’t be able to be a better parent, friend and partner. Ultimately this wasn’t making me the best version of myself and was making me feel more drained than normal. I also recognised that achieving this balance wasn’t easy, but there were things I could do.

I then brainstormed my priorities and focussed on what would make me feel good. Two areas stood out really strongly: friends and hobbies.

Step 4: Turning my reflections into an action plan with goals

I needed more time with friends, and a hobby just for me. Once I had worked this out, I started setting myself some goals for the next week and the next month. I started by taking several manageable steps that made me feel more in control and empowered such as setting a goal to meet a friend a month. Even by doing these small steps I felt more positive and less resentful as I was prioritising myself. 

Do you feel this way?

In my next blog I will share more about these goals and how I broke them down into manageable chunks. 

If you have been feeling a bit frustrated or resentful recently then please take a moment to acknowledge why and whether you can do anything. Could you try and complete a diary like I did and see what that brings up for you? Or could the Wheel of life tool help?

Coaching can be so helpful for clarifying muddles and encouraging accountability so If any of this resonated then do book a free no obligation 10-minute call to see if I could support you as a coach.